September 3, 1999

trouble w/ th yahoo mail server, it seems. a posting to hans-peter in

antibes never

made it- cdn't save th draft, cdn't send it- i kept getting a 'document is

empty'

box...

ANYWAY-

got sick again- though i'm really weirded out, i've just had this fatigue,

malaise,

achy joints, no sore throat, no head cold- super-dry scorched earth burning

pain in my

sinuses, though...but then i started noticing symptoms intensified after

meals & i

started wondering if i was having my recurrent problem w/ bad bacteria in

my gut-

candida or any of those other non-pathogenic non-problems to western

medicine...

so i got some vicious natural echinacea extract, & started eating garlic

toast

w/ every meal, putting garlic in my peppermint tea, even...seems to be

helping...feel

better today...also searching out for pineapple juice...maybe

gentian...golden seal...

yeah, back in bayern, driving in to th family farm from munich, frau

schachtner, alex's

mom, got me fresh sage & dried peppermint from her garden...still, being a

total

stranger, i didn't want to be too weird about food, so i had a diet of

mostly pork,

dumplings & cucumber salad for th ten days i visited...i think i was mostly

over th

cold in a couple of days, but th heavy food & strong coffee i brewed for

mself got me

trying to do my running maybe a little too quick on th draw, & blowing

buckets of snot

to

th wind just about 'til th end of my stay...

guess i mucus'd out & i'm @ th other extreme end of things now...

meanwhile, back in bayern...i felt well enough those last few days to go

out dancing

w/ alex, his girlfriend, vanessa, who came down from hamburg for a couple

of days,

wild&creizy guy christof, & surrogate family matriarch michaela- micha for

short. boy,

i breathed more second-hand smoke in one night than i had in my previous

year in puerto

rico! -oh, i did make a dancing fool of mself by mself a few days earlier

in

passau...they played that ummm- i'm not sure if it's th jacksons or just

michael-

y'know- 'shake yr body down to th ground'?

-& BTW, we had a nice little 'family' meal of takeout pizza & i sprung for

a great

montepulciano, not abruzzese, but from le marche...& was read my first

'gummy bear'

oracle- i cdn't help but think of christalía- it was her particular kiddie

candy

addiction holdover & i don't think i'd heard of gummy bears before or since

them- well,

this one german nut has workd out a whole oracle where you pick five- one

for each

color- & th color pattern tells you where you are & what's happening-

i-ching w/ candy,

though even more in-th-moment, i don't think you can ask about any specific

concern,

though i may be wrong. well, it pretty frighteningly accurate about where i

am in my

life, & my particular brand of caretaking codependence! i tell you,

uncanny.

so th upshot is, i'm family now. we will see what obligations & privileges

that might

entail...i'd love to go back for another visit. th waitress @ 'il

cavallino', where we

got th pizzas & wine, was a dark, almond-eyed italian beauty from th region

just north

of calabria (or puglia? calabria, i think...) & i can't seem to get her out

of my mind.

maybe i was born to be an adult-child dirty old man...

lovey-dovey/lovey-dovey all th time...dj=(8{>