September 17, 1999

praise & gratitude & acknowledgement of elegguá, who opens & closes all

doors, all

paths...aché...my compulsive control mechanisms kick in on th face of

little

blessings...oh, ye of little faith...why am i going to nice? to meet up w/

nephews

hans-peter & klaus-heiner? but it feels uncertain, dubious- i'm antsy

restless

bewildered @ th difficulties obstacles indifference regarding my projects-

th

screenplay, th house in galicia...i want to rush to barcelona, to la

guardia, talk to

th people i know @ SGAE- th spanish copyright society/authors & composer's

association...but i don't even know if luis más is still @ his desk in

madrid...it's

been four long years since '95...i gotta met w/ toni & roberto & see about

renewing my

option on th adaptation rights to their novel- i already have a screenplay

based on it-

can i get some help in finally buying th rights?

do i just need to get to france to start walking @ least a part of th route

to

santiago?

'life is a journey to be made on foot'- who was bruce chatwin quoting in th

text i

read?

...so i finally yield & have two espressos just now, five o'clock in th

afternoon...i'm

really holding on to this avenue vehicle medium technology to feel

connected, & after

nearly a month here, getting half-used to th particular co-dependent

interaction w/ my

brother & his wife, german character & idiosyncracies & diet, getting back

on th road,

not going directly to le relais notre dame up in th hills of provence, @

least a place

i know- i'm not sure if madame & her retired air-traffic controller from

munich are

still actively running th place, haven't gotten to talk to them on th

phone, so i've

resisted on committing to reservations...between a rock & a soft place?? i

have no idea

what nice is like, how easy it will be to find a reasonably priced hotel

room for th

night tomorrow, saturday around two- three in th afternoon...i have no idea

when i may

be able to sit down & write th next installment of this...fake it until i

make

it...face th fear...again & again...feel silly silly silly...i got to see

'buena vista

social club' as a special gift...started crying th minute i sat down & th

music

started...how do i find my way back to music?? is that yet another task for

me? or th

one true north of a task underneath th distractions, projects, wanderings?

yesterday was a very long day w/ peter & astrid, from dornburg to naumburg

to bad

koesen to bad sulza thru th only thuringian vineyards w/in th saale-unstrut

designation, missd th turntable dj mix performance @ th opening...& i gotta

go. gotta

reserve my couchette to try to sleep on this train tonight. thank you all

for tuning

in. see you when i see you. is this...? davidj=(8{>