October 19, 2001
(october 4, 1655h)
like a teenaging moon-june rhyme
love is achingly easy-
easy as doubt, easy as dread & disquiet:
a blinkered heart stuck in a one-stroke rush hour
love is th fearful wallflower's claim to heroism-
enduring in itself, by itself, for itself-
unheard, untouched, unrecognised & unreturned
(october 6, 1236h)
a lifetime's tumbling void beneath my tightrope walk
an ocean of tears roils in blood-red rust-
closed & closer, spite hums mouthy spells
to blind my heart's deluded fall...
all or nothing is th course love taught
& in grating fruitless anger i bend to its rules
(2124h)
nobody home
nothing but a shell th wind whistles thru-
air rushes in to correct an imbalance: melt th icicles, cool th burn-
or, swelling in moisture's conflicted embrace, rages
to soak th desert or lift a swamp to th river
(2206h)
days go by, years tick away minute by doubting minute
resentment keeps me bouncing th dead cat bounce
off th same listless bottom again & again
many have made their half-honest fortune
wailing out my useless secret feelings loud for me-
why should i embarrass us further
sketching slapdash cathedrals of unshared yearning?
there is nothing left to break inside, & yet
a chandelier of tender childhood shame
shines brightly on
lovey-dove, d=(8{>