sung by bonnie raitt- 'opening farewell' i believe it's calld- got some
that go, 'there's a train/every day/going either way/there's a road you
know/there's a way to go...' then marel malaret tells me jackson's moved to
...but we're never gonna survive/unless/we go a little crazy-
seal's first hit was my theme song in '85, & still...
(a motion of return, an abundance recovered...)
th moment i feel th stiff northerly blowing head-on as i reach th
beach (that's th barcelona, not th puerto rico, barceloneta) i know what
bn missing & avoiding, what i've bn craving & denying mself @ one & th same
time: my inner mommmy as overprotective as my flesh & blood one was, if not
more so under certain emotional circumstances...th voice that kept
every day, as i got back to my room from sitting in front of th computer
screen or after a big, late lunch, all thru th week- 'it's too late, it's
dark, it's too cold already, you should've bn ready an hour- @ th very
a half hour- ago...'
-but that's precisely it! it's soothingly late, it's wonderfully windy,
magically dark along th boardwalks leading away from th bustle of th
th port bars & shops...it's bn six weeks & i hardly make it past th villa
olímpica & its next set of bars, cafés & clubs- including th last surviving
planet hollywood restaurant...in th world?!-before turning back. rebuilding
time. thirty-two minutes. my knees are weak, even after so short a run. but
i'm happy happy happy. what a difference...
i argue w/ mself, i argue both points of view: there's no such thing as a
positive addiction- if i couldn't run, i cd've sat zazen, strolled th
up & down a couple of hours, stretched & did an abs workout on th floor of
little room...there are always options, there is always @ th very least one
alternative to th compulsion...
on th other hand, th only thing that makes something like th routine of
running into a compulsion is precisely th conditioned tangle of fear that
locks into a paralysing struggle w/ th opposing, desired, course of
back on th ramblas, th christmas decorations are going up-
it's coming on christmas/they're cutting down trees
they're putting up reindeer/singing songs of joy & peace
i wish i had a river/i could skate away on...
thank you, joni...thank you all-