November 21, 1999

i was on th last leg of my 21-hour train ride from barcelona to weimar,

having made th connection to th 'goethe' intercity express from paris to

prague in fulda, when a copy of 'le monde' in th seat across th aisle


my eye...robert kramer, expatriate american filmmaker, was dead of

complications from meningitis @ th age of sixty...

i guess i was not meant to meet th man. when i left puerto rico back @ th


of july, my friend 'puchi' platón had promisd to e-mail me his whereabouts


part of some informal introductory document. when she first mentioned


to me, i vaguely recognised th titles to some of his films- like 'people's

war', done as part of th 'newsreel' group (don't quote me on that name- i'm

not tout a fait sur that's it...)

speaking of glaring errors, le monde said kramer had edited footage of

venezuelan guerrilleros under th alias 'robert remark' into a documentary

titled 'faln'- as far as i know, only my fellow boricua revolutionaries use

that acronymic handle- is there a venezuelan guerrilla group sharing th


or is le monde totally out of it?

as i sat down to finally write something like an obit, eulogy, memorial

(acknowledgement?) to another of

those mentor-teachers i never got to meet- it's thursday evening & i've bn

mulling it over since i read th news last sunday- th first news on my yahoo

home page informs me of th death of paul bowles...i don't even know how to

begin to address that one...

out of this recent spate of losses, rafael alberti was th one overtly

political exile, & th one to return home for some sort of

it more difficult to return to th u.s. of a. than it is to more obviously,

politically oppressive countries? i know i cd heartfully identify w/ a

statement by mario benedetti in a recent interview, who has returned to an

uruguay that is not th country he once left- he spoke of a sense of being

doubly exiled, finding himself missing th life he was forced to make for

himself as a political refugee in spain- th friends he made during th long

years in madrid, th streets he made his home, th city he inhabited, th

country & particular castillian version of spanish, mediterranean culture


learned to make his social, cultural, professional, emotional niche in...

i have some deeply felt, if contradictory emotions about th land of th

free/home of th brave as stepmother country, source of dreams of unlimited

opportunity...i'm not a nationalist & as a matter of fact, if anything, i'm

increasingly suspicious of allegiances to land, country & flag & thus, more


more of an anarchist as i grow do i build a home on this

emotional quicksand, feeling like an exiled newyorker as much as i do a

rocknroll-&-internationalised-trash-culture-loving puertorrique~o??

i guess this is one of th themes of my wanderlust webpage, journals &


endeavors, & one i hope will find echo in th feelings of firends, family &

growing audience in these postmodern, postindustrial, & soon-to-be

postmillenial times...!

to quote th late, dour ian curtis, singing w/ th band that later became


order'- (quick! what was th name of th band while ian was alive to sing w/


& why was it a controversial name?)

love/will tear us apart/again...